Rifts
by Shimmerwind
Summary: Eccentric attention-seeking persona. Dead-last demeanor. Fear masked by fearlessness. Hopelessness masked by hope. Tears lost in an illusion of smiles. His mask was finally complete... too complete. Nothing could be more perfect in his carefully woven web of lies, but perfection can't last forever. Rifts were forming, in both his mask, and in the bonds it was made to hide...
1. Introduction: Paranoia

**Disclaimer:**

The characters, manga, and anime belong solely to Masashi Kishimoto and team, but this story and plotline belongs to me. I make no profit off this literature, unless you consider the lovely reviews from the readers as payment like I do. :3

Oh, and my introductions are always shorter than actual chapters. Normal chapters won't be so angsty like the intro, and they will be quite a bit longer. My chapters might not be the monstrous 14k of some of the far more experienced authors I have read, but they will be much better than my previous 1kers.

* * *

_Rifts_

_Introduction_

_Paranoia_

_By Shimmerwind_

Fear. Cold, hard fear. There were moments when he was free of the daunting feeling, yet he was normally quite stricken with it. It was sickening that such a young person – a child, in all honesty – was forced to live in such dread. This was no longer fear. This was paranoia in its purest form, and it was slowly consuming the boy. The teen had a right to this paralyzing feeling though. All his life – his entire 13 years – he had been hated and ridiculed. People would move away from him in the streets. Mother's would take their children home if he wandered into the park. Restaurants would empty if he came to the door, Kami forbid he come inside. He'd always assumed it was his fault, that he did something so horrible that he deserved this treatment. He thought that he had become so dark inside that he no longer even saw his wrongs, and that he completely deserved the title of Demon. It wasn't until he was 12 that he found out exactly why he was the scum of the village, and that was a major blow to the boy.

For as long as he could remember, he had hidden behind his 'happy mask' as he had come to think of it, true feelings locked away in the depths of his mind until he was alone. He lied to the ones who supposedly cared for him so the ones who didn't would never know. He faked the role of the happy-go-lucky attention seeker to hide the scared, lonely person underneath the wraps. Trapped by his own mind, the boy was locked away in a bleak, inescapable darkness – in more ways than one…

The genin never truly believed the words of his precious people. His teammates and his sensei – the three people most important in his life – were all liars in his mind. To him, they pretended they cared but never really did. Sometimes they were soft, but the genin could always hear the berating undertones in their voices. But it was nice to pretend, so he went along with it. The boy would trust them with his life, even going as far as giving up his own to save theirs, not that he expected the same from them. Kaka-sensei, Sakura-chan, and Sasuke. Those three names – those three people – were the only things keeping him going, not that they'd ever know. He didn't even care if they felt the same way about him; the boy still loved those three people with all his heart. But he never told them his secrets.

And he still loved Konoha. He'd long given up on his dream of being Hokage, but he constantly spoke about it in front of his 'friends'. He had to keep up appearances, after all. But even though that dream had died, his determination to protect his village had not. Even though they might have hated him, so much as to try and kill him themselves, he would still have given his life for theirs. Any of them, whether it be a newborn baby or a dying old man, civilian or ninja, he would gladly have died to save them. His drive was only strengthened by every insult, every swing of the fist. Why should he have continued living if no one cared? Well, if he was going to die, he might as well have saved someone in the process. Those thoughts were constantly in his mind, yet the thought of death scared him as well. It was not so much the dying part of death that scares him, but where he would go after he died. Where _would_ he have gone?

That was not the only thing that scared him. He wasn't afraid to be judged; He hated it, but he didn't fear it. No, what he feared was how the villagers would _express_ their judgments. He had lost count at how many times he was tripped while walking down the streets. They kicked him out of stores, saying he was disrupting the other customers. He had never even opened his mouth, so how could he have been bothersome? Often they 'forgot' to send his monthly orphan allowance, but the boy was smarter than most ever gave him credit for. He knew it was no accident. Sometimes, villagers or even ninja would get together and… beat him around a little. They never caused enough damage to _really_ hurt him, nothing like a snapped leg or something. No, but they weren't afraid to cause pain. It was worst on his birthday… the day of the Kyuubi attack. Everyone always felt a little more rambunctious that day, leaving him to cope the day after. 'Friends' of his usually wrote his strange behavior off as laziness or, in Sasuke's case, a 'late night movie.' He knew because they would always tell him how he should go to bed earlier or stop using so much energy during the day. If only they knew.

But the boy couldn't tell them. Never. The web of lies he had worked so hard to spin… Even one small hole could completely unravel it. Not one person, not one secret, could escape. One single slip up and his entire world could come crumbling down, nothing even left to pretend of. He had to keep his happy mask on, else the tears underneath would show through. But… sometimes he wondered if taking off the mask, just once, would really hurt. Maybe if he just took it off around Sakura-chan, Sasuke, and Kaka-sensei… Maybe they would like the real face more than the mask that hid it. Maybe he'd show them one day… Maybe.

The boy was stronger than most would ever think. Iruka-sensei, Ero-Sannin, and Tsunade-baa-chan had seen potential in him, but they had never had really discovered how strong he was. He may have acted like a dead last, but that was a false identity as well. He faked weakness like he faked happiness – all the time and way too well. But, in reality, he had been training since before he joined the academy. He wasn't a dobe. He wasn't powerless. He wasn't feeble. He wasn't _weak_. No, he was strong. Easily stronger than Sakura. Quite a bit stronger than Sasuke. Actually, he figured he could hold his own very decently against his sensei. And he hated acting weak, hated getting called a dobe more than once a day by someone he could pound into the ground without breaking a sweat. Oh no, hate wasn't a strong enough word for this feeling. He didn't _hate_ it. He _loathed_it. His unskillful demeanor was only brought up for self-preservation purposes. If the village knew he was so strong, at only genin rank, they would kill him in a heartbeat. You can't have the Kyuubi kid too strong, eh? The boy couldn't die yet; He couldn't die unless it was to protect someone else. That was his goal now – die defending a person he loves – not to become a Hokage and gain respect. He'd long learned that he'd never gain respect and, therefore, never become the leader. He lived only for the ones he loved.

Eccentric attention-seeking persona. Dead-last demeanor, skill-wise. Long-dead dreams brought to life during the day. Nightmares and scars hidden behind fraudulent words of late nights and spars. Fear masked by fearlessness. Hopelessness masked by hope. Tears lost in an illusion of smiles. His mask was finally complete… too complete. Nothing could be more perfect in his carefully woven web of lies, but perfection can't last forever. That's why Naruto Uzumaki was afraid.

Rifts were forming, both in his mask, and the bonds it was made to hide…

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**Full Story Warnings:**

Dark!Naruto (Not Waterfall of Truth one), violence, **_angst_**, possible hints of romance (no true pairings in this, at least for now), hints of mental illness (like dabbled depression/paranoia and that kinda stuff). All for the sake of the story line, because this is not a 'beat up Naruto' fic.

**Stuff that's ****_NOT_**** in this ****_AT ALL, EVER_****:**

Gore (blood and guts and describing violence/injury in extreme detail), slash, swearing, adult/mature situations, implications of adult/mature situations, strong romance, character bashing (just because it feels like I am, doesn't mean I am), unneeded violence

**POV:**

3rd person POV, Naruto's perspective unless specified otherwise, with paragraphs here and there describing the thoughts/feelings of other characters as I see fit

**Setting:**

Takes place when the Rookie Nine are around 13. Sasuke has not left yet; this is before the fight on the rooftop yet after Tsunade. Sasuke never challenged Naruto on the rooftop, and the Sound Four didn't come yet. Basically, the Sasuke Retrieval Ark has been removed. Therefore, Naruto still has not gained respect within the village, or rather, not enough to earn him better treatment. No one (meaning the Konoha 12) knows of the Kyuubi.

_Note~This story is based off of the darker side of life before Naruto earned the respect of the village….. with a few twists. :] Ehe, some of these may be a bit shocking to you, but no no, no hints~ You'll have to stick around and see~ *snickers like she has a special little secret, because she does*However, I will be hinting at one of the bigger plot twists several times until the actual event, so a cookie to whoever catches the hints._

_This won't be following the cannon story line, so if you have a problem with that, go ahead and scidattle. I roast marshmallows over flames, so please, lay em on me. ._


	2. Chapter One: October 10th

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Naruto. If I did, the art would be sloppy, the fight scenes would suck, this would be cannon, and the manga would have a NaruSasu ending (keyword: NaruSasu, not SasuNaru). I rest my case.

Note~ My Kyuubi is a bit more sarcastic and occasionally more protective over Naru than in cannon, because I love that version of him. Also, both he and Naruto use quite a bit of dry humor. Heheheh… So Naruto and Kyuubi are both a bit OOC, and you'll see how as the story progresses. Our blond is moody though, I can tell you that much. Welp, this is the product of single-chapter writers block (and I even have the first three chapters set up, in detail…. -_-) and writing while listening to Breaking Benjamin's album, Dear Agony, with a couple other depressing songs by bands like Seether and Evanescence. *Suddenly runs through a checklist of stereotypical emo traits and realizes she actually has quite a few of them, minus the dyed hair and the cutting*

…..⊙︿⊙ I'm not, I swear. ⊙︿⊙

SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE. Other than writing this, I also have middle school to keep my straight A's (and one high B… v.v) in, a few manga's to read, family, and friends. I also am a member of two roleplay sites, one that is stat based and requires a _lot_ of writing, and another that is unfinished that I am currently helping to build. It doesn't help either that I also had huge writers block (brought upon by lack of motivation), or that I had exams (that I didn't really study for but am using as an excuse anyway). I do plan to post the next chapter a lot faster though.

Gunna be using a snippet from a song before each chapter, some are funny songs and some are depressing. I use them based on lyrics, and this one is by one of my favorite bands, Seether! Anyway, The Gift by Seether. Why I chose this song will be most apparent in the beginning of this chapter and in the end of the next one, most likely. However, a certain part of this song will only truly make sense near the very end of the story… ಠヮಠ Btw, I show no shame in reusing a song if it has more than one good part. Just saying. '…' means a skip in the song.

12/19/2013: So… a few minutes ago, I decided to finally see what the big deal was with 'Miley Cyrus' and her 'Wrecking Ball' video. I just… She was allowed to make such an abomination?! She was… naked… and swinging… from a wrecking ball… Is it just me, or is that a borderline 'adult video?' No, I do not feel the need to say the more 'urban' word for said videos. Anyway, my face during the whole music vid: OДo. Results: Scarred for life, never watching a Miley Cyrus again (not that I did before), and Hannah Montana is forever ruined. I preferred _not_ knowing what was under those sparkly tanks, thanks.

ALTERNATIVE/ALTERNATIVE ROCK/ROCK FOHEVAH BABEH. (•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿ ̿"" (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Especially Seether. o-o

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_I'm so afraid of the gift you give me  
__I don't belong here and I'm not well  
I__'m so ashamed of the lie I'm living  
__Right on the wrong side of it all_

_I can't face myself when I wake up  
__And look inside a mirror  
__I'm so ashamed of that thing  
__I suppose I'll let it go  
__Until I have something more to say for me  
__I'm so afraid of defeat  
__And I'm out of reason to believe in me  
__I'm out of trying to defy_

_Rifts  
__Chapter One  
__October 10th_

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_Flames. They were everywhere. Smoke filled the air, sliced through only by flying shards of wood… or people. Utter chaos, violently ripping though the once-peaceful village, only amplified the screams. The roads were painted red with metal-scented liquid. A horrific roar split through the air, drowning out the sounds of mayhem all around. In the middle of the destruction stood a single figure. The demonic being, towering above even the tallest of buildings, was the pure incarnation of hate itself. Its only goal was to obliterate something… anything… Everything. The terror, massive and deadly, could only have been one thing…_

_Kyuubi no Kitsune._

_Otherwise known as the Nine-Tailed Demon fox, the name's mere mentioning was enough to send chills down a ninja's spine. It was the strongest of all Tailed Beasts, and righteously feared. Sharp, pearly white teeth, as big as men, gleamed against the flames, its massive jaws striking fear into all who beheld them. Claws, attached to paws as great as a small house, nearly dwarfed the size of the people whose chests they pierced. Countless shinobi were tossed like ragdolls with a single swoop of one of its mighty tails. The beast possessed strength unmatched by anything, a fact becoming strikingly obvious as it crushed entire trees with even the most graceful of steps. Bodies lay strewn about. Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi, Tsunade… They were all among the dead. The great creature, red-orange fur shimmering against the moonlight, let out another fierce howl. Except… something was different. The sound was more human, more boyish… and the fox's eyes..._

_The fox's eyes were a bright, sky blue._

Blue eyes, identical to the ones of the fox, snapped open. The dream ended abruptly as the owner of the orbs jolted awake. He jerked upwards, head smashing into the wall. A mild curse escaped his lips as he looked around the room, the vivid nightmare fading into his room's natural darkness. However, the memories were still fresh on his mind. Naruto's breathing was erratic, heart pounding and a cold sweat covering his body. His internal clock told him it was around 4:30 AM and that he should be going back to sleep, but his mind wouldn't allow it. Nope, not tonight, er, this morning. However, instead of getting up and getting ready, he just laid back down in the bed. His eyes fixed onto the ceiling, veiled by blackness, as he ran through the nightmare. '_So, I transformed into the Kyuubi and attacked the village, killing everyone I love. Hm, I've dreamt worse,' _the boy thought slowly. He began to calm as he sorted through and rationalized his thoughts, a task that seemed almost daily to the teen. Naruto recalled having the dream before, yet he couldn't remember why…

**_'Hey kit, guess what day it is~'_** an all-too familiar growl rang in his head. Deciding to humor his fox, Naruto casually responded, '_What day is it, oh glorious demon sealed into my stomach?'_ Yes, he could feel the fox smirking. Kyuubi laughed a malicious laugh, the sound giving Naruto the chills. It was a deep tune, gravely and almost growling, coming from deep in the fox's belly. Kyuubi's laughter was never good. **_'Why, I believe it's been exactly 13 years since I attacked the village and killed hundreds... Happy _****Birthday****_, kit!'_** the fox roared, obviously humored by the whole ordeal (as in Naruto's mindscape, he was rolling around in his cage, laughing his butt off). Naruto visibly paled, immediately cutting the connection between himself and the demon. '_Of course… I always have that dream on my birthday… Ah, crap. This means that –' _Just as the thought registered in the young Genin's mind, his alarm clock let out an agonizingly loud alarm. 5:00 AM. In a moment of rage, caused both by his unfinished thoughts and the annoying ringing, he lashed out. His fist collided with the source of the noise – his clock – and smashed it to pieces… again. '…_…It's not like I needed a clock anyway…'_ he thought, sighing.

The boy rolled over and lazily flopped out of bed. He really didn't want to do anything today… He didn't want to listen to the villagers. He didn't want to let Sasuke win _again_ in their inevitable spar. He didn't want to get hurt at some point in the day once he was alone. He didn't want to do _anything_ that the day promised him. '_I'm not going to the field today… Not today…'_ he told himself, but he walked out the door to his room anyway. The blond drearily dragged his feet to the kitchen. It was a rather small room, the walkway a few feet wide, nearly double that length long, and with counters on both sides. The white fridge was at the right by the open (meaning no door) entryway. There were wooden cupboards over the counters and a sink on the left side of the room. The floor was white tile and the walls were covered in dark green wallpaper.

Opening the cabinet, he ran his hands over everything inside. '_Ramen… Ramen… Ramen…. Ramen… Oh would you look at that! More Ramen.'_ He thought, deadpanning. "Never thought I'd say this, but I'm kinda getting sick of ramen…" the boy muttered, shutting the cupboard. After all, when ramen is all you eat every day, you are going to tire of it. The teen grumbled something unintelligible about greasy noodles as he turned to his fridge. He knew he only had milk, but… As he pulled open the door, the smell of rancid dairy his hit nose, prompting him to slam it shut again. '_Ooookay, so no big birthday breakfast for me,' _he thought, a bit annoyed. '_So, starve until lunch or eat a cup of ramen….. I'm not that hungry.'_ His stomach gave out a fierce growl in protest, but the blond shook his head. He honestly didn't know why he kept buying the stuff. Rice was just as cheap and he preferred it over the noodles anyway. Was his public persona really affecting him this much? It's not like anyone would know, because who visited him anyway? Naruto huffed in annoyance, unaware that he was slightly stomping as he exited the kitchen. Wait… Why did his persona have to like ramen_ anyway_…?

Soon, he arrived back in his room. It was the liveliest place in the house, if shadowy. There was a double bed set against the wall in front of him, as well as a window to his right. The bed had a dark green comforter with brownish-red sheets and two white pillows, a bit mix-matched if you asked anyone else. However, Naruto had never been big on colors. A nightstand stood on the right of his bed, a glass of water, his headband, and a picture of their team set on it. Of course, his clock had been there earlier, but… it kinda wasn't anymore. To the left of his room was a closet, as well as an open door that led to the bathroom. Two bean bag chairs – he'd bought them for fun after a well-paying mission – sat near the same wall his bed was against, with a short little table in front for doing whatever while sitting. Plants filled the room, packed into corners and hanging from ceilings. To Naruto, they were living creatures like any other; they just never rejected him. The creatures' constantly green, growing leaves were proof of that. They offered him company in his lonely home, so he packed his room full. His floor was light hardwood, while the walls were painted a light blue color.

The bathroom across from his room wasn't nearly as full as his bedroom. The floors were white tile and the walls a dull yellow. A counter lined the wall directly across from the door of the small room. A sink was positioned in the middle of the counter, a bit of space on both sides. A large mirror stretched the surface of the wall, as long as the counter. This giant mirror was the only one in the house, and the only reason it still hung was because he was not able to remove it himself, and never in Kami's great name would he EVER invite someone into his apartment complex, much less his home. On the surface part of the counter stood an empty glass with a toothbrush sitting inside, a tube of minty toothpaste sitting beside the sink in front of the cup. On the other side was a black comb. A shower-tub with a grey-green curtain was located a bit farther down the wall, with a toilet across from it near the end of the wall. A white shower mat lie on the floor in front of the shower.

The blond took a few calming breaths as he made his way to his closet. It was small, with clothes hanging from hangers and his shoes on the ground, a small shelf overhead for storage. He wasn't allowed to be annoyed. The _1# Knucklehead Ninja_ was always happy, never sad. '_I should stop being so selfish. There's no time to dwell on my own feelings,'_ Naruto thought to himself for the nth time. He quickly launched open his closet door, feeling around for the set of clothes he felt like wearing. Okay, so he wasn't wearing his bright orange jumpsuit today. Who gives a crap anyway, it's not like he was spilling his secrets or anything… It was just a change of wardrobe… right? He just told himself that a few times as he pulled the clothes off the hangers, deciding to forget the fact that the jumpsuit was one of his persona's main traits. Well, his outfit today wasn't _totally_ different. It was just a black tee-shirt, complete with an orange swirl on the back. His pants were a little different, too; a few shades darker than his normal orange pair and made of a material more khaki-like in feeling, with a bunch of pockets, of course. He kept his pouch tied to his leg though, as he usually did. He hurriedly slipped them on, not bothering to shower first. To complete his look, Naruto took a roll of bandages and wrapped his hands, wrists, and lower arms in the white cloth. That was good, but something was still missing… Oh, he had forgotten his headband. '_Hmmm...' _ he thought, '_I think… I think I'll wear it around my neck today. It suits the outfit...' _ He conveniently left out the other reason, though. The blond stepped over to the small table beside his bed and picked up his navy blue ninja headband. He smiled a bit to himself, remembering the day he got it. That had been a really good day, besides the part about Mizuki and the fox. Naruto quickly tied the article tightly around his neck, though with enough space to breath, and slipped on his sandals.

It must have been about 5:30 now, he decided. The boy shut his closet door and moved over to his bed. He let himself fall backwards, legs flying up a little as his back hit the lumpy mattress. "Up too early. Heh, Sakura would get a kick out of this one," he said to the ceiling, "though it's too bad she doesn't know that I usually fake my sleep." It was true. Often was the time when Naruto would simply fake falling asleep quickly or sleeping well into the morning. In reality, he was actually a bit of an insomniac, though Kyuubi managed to hide the dark circles. Oh, yeah, and he was also a bit – well, a 'bit' more than a bit - anorexic when he wasn't wearing his mask. The giant amounts of ramen he consumed in a single sitting as Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky never really stayed in his stomach anyway… Surprising, right? Naruto scoffed, rolling over onto his stomach. It was honestly amazing how much they didn't know. Everything, from giant secrets to the tiniest of pet peeves, was enough to fill a library. Maybe he should tell them. The guilt of keeping so much from the people he loved was starting to get to him. He hated keeping secrets, hated it more than anything. His chest was constricting, his heart full of a combination of two dreadful feelings – guilt and fear. Fear that his secrets would be revealed, and guilt because he had secrets in the first place. On top of that, today was his _birthday_. Most his age would be jumping with joy for such a special event – even Sasuke was considerably happier – but not the Uzumaki. To the genin, his birthday was nothing but a day full of pain and hatred, and he dreaded it every year. Why? Like Kyuubi said, his day of birth also fell in line with the anniversary of the fox's attack on Konoha. As if a normal day wasn't bad enough… 'I_ guess I'm 13 now, though. A teenager. Acne and mood swings, go me!_' He thought, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. He didn't get it, though. Why did everyone want to grow up? As a child, people wouldn't hurt you as much. Instead, sometimes they did things _for_ you, and even went a bit easier when angered. Once you're a teenager, or close to it, the world suddenly looks at you like a piece of beef ready for grinding. Why would someone ever look forward to that?

The boy got off his bed and ran a hand through his spikey locks. He'd probably need to brush it today… '_Brushing… brush…. Bathroom…. TOOTHBRUSH. Gotta brush my teeth!'_ the blond thought. After speeding over to the bathroom with the speed of a Jounin, Naruto quickly turned on the water and grabbed a toothbrush. He unscrewed the cap to the toothpaste, smeared a bit on the brush, and shut the tube again. He brushed and rinsed hastily, enjoying the minty taste but not having the time to really consider it. He applied a bit of deodorant and a squirt of cologne – what? He liked the smell… He then picked up a comb and yanked it through his blond hair a few times, the stubborn knots not wanting to come out. However, he pulled until they did, ignoring the pain. Once his hair was, more or less, brushed out, he left the bathroom and exited his room. Hmm… 6:00 AM. They met at 8:00 at the training field, and it only took him about ten minutes to get there if he hurried_. 'So… 1 hour and 45 minutes of free time. Right.'_ Naruto stopped and thought for a moment, considering things. '_If I asked them, they'd probably say no… But, if I also offered to pay… It's worth a shot,'_ he decided, taking in the air of the room he was in. It was his living room, though there really wasn't much to see.

There was a grey couch in the northern part of the room, the side with no wall. In front of that was a long coffee table, made of a wooden frame and a glass top, which was actually clear of garbage and the like. Beside that was a long, tall cabinet set, complete with shelves and drawers. In the middle of the set sat a small battery-operated CD player, the shelves on either side stacked with what seemed like hundreds of CDs, all actually ordered. Several more shelves had plants positioned on them, their healthy leaves spread out and growing. In a small, low shelf were a sketch book and a set of pencils, while in another opposite it was a normal, hardcover notebook, though it was clasped with a chakra-signature lock. The ground was a light hardwood, the walls white. Behind the couch was another room, a very large entryway substituting for the wall. Inside that room was a long wooden dining table, as well as a few chairs positioned around it. A china cabinet was pressed against the wall in the same room, and there were a few potted plants. At the back of the room there was a door leading into the kitchen. A small no-glass window and counter with light wooden shutters gave another way into the kitchen, if only for conversation and a way to serve food more easily. Outside this room, back in the living room again, there was an open-entryway to the kitchen. On the wall connected to that, down a bit, there was the door leading out of the apartment, as well as a coatrack on the left side. When opened, the door swung to the right, so the position of the rack was only natural. On the right side of the living room, when facing the dining room, there was a pair of sliding glass doors that lead out onto a small terrace. On it were two chairs, a small table, and a few more plants, most flowering. Naruto had to admit, his apartment was bigger than most thought it to be, nor was it messy and unkempt. Everything was nice and orderly, as well as _rodent free_. (Sakura had mentioned something about it probably having mice once…)

Sighing, Naruto moved towards the small end table on the left end of the couch and picked up his frog wallet, the pouch surprisingly empty for once. He had just paid bills, so that was a given. Accessory in hand, the boy moved towards the front door. He grabbed a hooded, bluish-black zip-up jacket on a whim and slipped it on. This way, he would be both warm in the chilly morning air and inconspicuous from a few early-risers of Konoha. Oh, it hid his too-thin frame as well, which was just another plus. After it was zipped about halfway, he slid his wallet into a pocket of his pants and opened the door. The musky smell of wet residue and stale beer immediately reached his nose, and he shut his door as soon as he was out. _'No good having my house smell like the rest of the dang complex, eh?'_ He thought. The genin pulled the jacket's dark hood over his head, hoping to Kami no one would recognize him. He already knew what would lie in store for him later, but it would be best to keep it until after he had met with his team. Less questions… Well, he supposed they would still bombard him the next day, seeing as this would be the first time they would see him afterwards… '_Ugh. That's a problem for tomorrow, not today,'_ he thought, '_Today I'm just going to hope no one recognizes me until after missions._' However, luck never seemed to be on his side…

Naruto began down the hall, head down and hands stuffed into the pockets of the light weight jacket. He hunched his shoulders a bit, trying to look as much like a local thug as he could. Thugs didn't mess with thugs; thugs messed with Naruto. After a few moments, he came to the stairs. _'5 flights of stairs, 40 steps each. Stairs turn to the left on each platform, and there's a platform after every flight,'_ the teen thought. After living so long in this Kami forsaken complex, he had memorized nearly every footfall. He quickly ascended the stairs, eyes cast down the entire time, until he was in the lobby. Head still lowered, the genin listened for a moment and decided it was safe to make the 23 steps out of the lobby. He began to move hastily. _'Left, right, left, right, c'mon, hurry!'_ he thought, speeding up. He was on his 19th stride when a hand clasped the back of his jacket, yanking him off the ground. In the same second he was spun around to meet the face of his attacker, booze-drenched breath hitting him like a bulldozer in the face. However, he knew by now not to wince. Wincing was bad.

**"W'hey, lil' demon boy. Iz your birfday tuhday, an' I dun got you a preeeseeenttt~"**the man cooed in his drunken drawl. Ah, yup. Naruto knew this one. This particular druggy was called Kusuri. They say it's a sin to hate, that you should love everyone, even your enemies. The genin didn't care. He _hated_ Kusuri, more than any other of his recurring tormenters, and he had two _very_ valid reasons to do so. Naruto closed his eyes, not that it helped anything, and braced himself of the small onslaught that was now a part of his morning routine. The drunk was… bad. Like, evil shinobi kinda bad. He just took all his anger out on the blond and drank the rest away, instead of leaving the village like any other normal person would do. Well, he wasn't exactly a shinobi anyway… Kusuri was more of a very high-skilled local thug, ANBU level without the rank. Naruto… he was never a match for the brute, and had to just deal with whatever the man felt like dishing out. Mornings were usually easier though, the man wanting to make things fast as to not aggravate his hangover. He was usually only hit once, but today was _that_ day. This was that thing he had been dreading all morning… Kusuri was a large part of that dread, but not all of it. After all, he still had other attackers besides this oversized addict. No, the thing he was dreading most was the violence. He could beat everyone, even Kaka-sensei, but these men… Somehow, he just froze up.

Naruto tensed as the whistle of a fist flying through the air hit his ears. Mere milliseconds later, pain erupted from the side of his face. Punch. In another second, there was a hot weight in the pit of his stomach. Kick. Then he was lifted higher into the air, and suddenly he was flying. Toss. In another half a second, he hit the wall, his back and the rear of his skull banging painfully against the wood. Crash. Hm, so Kusuri was feeling generous today – no uppercut. The genin heard a disgusting snickering aimed in his direction as he slowly peeled himself off the floor. He didn't nurse the forming bruises upon his face and stomach, though. Instead, he stood tall. He would have seemed proud had his eyes not been cast down like they were, head tilted forward into submission. The teen had learned long ago not to show aggression towards Kusuri, as it just fueled his fun. His hands remained clenched into tight fists at his side, though, his short yet sharp nails digging into his bandaged palms. He would have drawn blood had the cloth not been there…

**"I letcha go early tuhday, boy, but we 'gon continue this later,"** the man said, sneering at the bruised youth. The man, if he could even be called that, turned and strutted out of the lobby in a way that would remind one of a praised puppy. Meanwhile, the genin himself just felt like a kicked one. Once he was sure the evil incarnate was gone, Naruto up and dashed out of the lobby, maintaining the high speed for several minutes. His eyes took on that familiar stinging sensation, but it was faint. It was always faint, when it came, and the tears never leaked out. Oh, he'd tried to cry before, but he just couldn't. He only stopped running when the ache in his stomach increased to intolerable levels, and even then, the teen continued to walk. It was then that he lifted a hand to his cheek, discovering the skin was puffy and swollen, not to mention a nasty bruise was probably forming. Perfect. Naruto took a moment to assess all that had happened, though he continued down the sidewalk. _'Sooo… My face was punched, my stomach kicked, and I smashed my back and head into the wall. Heh, Kusuri went easy today. Awww, he really does care!'_ the boy thought sarcastically. He roughly stuffed his hands back into his pockets and pulled his dark hood over his head, shielding his golden mop of hair from the public eye. The genin was ashamed that he let such an awful person, if he could even be classified such, control him. His stomach ached, his back was jolting, and he was pretty sure he had a slight concussion. To top it all off, it was all because he was too weak to help himself. He didn't like his 'presents'. It was shameful that such an idiotic oaf could bring him to his knees. Not only that, but he was scared. It wasn't so much that they might kill him – oh, he knew for a _fact_ the village he loved so much would be the death of him. It was just the pain and humiliation leading up to his demise that he feared. Death was bliss. This was torture.

Naruto closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. His mind began to wander, the teen letting his feet do the thinking as he traveled down his usual, memorized path. The pain racking his lithe form began to fade a bit as the blond soaked in the comfortably warm sun on his face. It was a chilly day, the breeze biting into his exposed skin, yet actually soothing the fire that burned about it. A handful of autumn leaves danced about the street, yet there were no children awake to chase them. October was a nice time of year – that is, except October 10th, and today was that awful date. All was quiet this morning, for even the birds had forgotten to sing. The only sound was that of the breeze in the changing trees and the steady rhythm of the genin's feet hitting the ground. The person in question, despite the slightly-numbed pain, quickened his pace once again. He opened his eyes, though it didn't change a thing, and all but ran down his familiar paths to Training Field Three.

Being in the town was… uncomfortable to Naruto. He felt as though he was being watched – which, he realized, might very well have been the case. The boy was used to the stares. After exactly 13 years of being haunted by the, it was defiantly a common feeling – being stared down. That didn't mean he accepted it, though. If anything, the hateful glares directed at his back only worsened his depression. He was always strong though. Of course, the insults got to him, but he was always able to keep his emotions hidden. He scoffed lightly. Sometimes he really felt like a girl with all these feelings… Scratch that, he felt like a hormonal, teenage girl going through a rough breakup._ That_ was a better description. Feeling like a girl was bad, especially when you were a shinobi – a _male_ shinobi. Naruto shook his head as he ran, blond locks falling into his eyes. People already treated him like he was dainty and weak. Learning of his true self would just push that notion even farther into their tiny brains. The weaker he looked, the more people would be out to get him. The more Kusuri would hurt him… That right there was more than enough reason to keep his mask on and securely at that.

But still… Maybe if he showed just a little bit… Would Sakura and Sasuke think of him as weak? Or would they think of his as less annoying? Maybe if they knew his past, or rather his present, than they would be a little nicer to him, a little more hospitable. Then again, they might tell Baa-chan. He couldn't hide from Tsunade like he did the Third. The old hag would just beat it out of him and, by Kami; he did not want to be hurt anymore. Naruto shook his head fiercely, angry he had thought of the topic again. He could tell no one – not Sakura-chan, Sasuke, or Kaka-sensei. He just had to keep the mask on a little longer, and then all his troubles would leave him forever. He would be free soon… Yes. But even so, he wondered why he had brought up the subject again. He had been considering it too much, taking off his Mr. Happy ego that is. If he kept wondering about this so much, there was no doubt he would be found out. Maintaining a mask was all about state of mind, and the more he wanted to take off the smile, the more it would inch away by itself. If it were to slip completely... The blond shook his head. He didn't even want to think about that because, quite frankly, his entire life would be ruined… well, more so than it already was, anyway.

Naruto was pulled from his thoughts by the crunching of fallen leaves; He'd entered the forest section of his route, which meant he had finally strayed from the eyes of the villagers. This was, by far, his favorite part of his morning walk. He grinned, turning off his autopilot. It was always a bit warmer in the woods, yet still cool enough as to be soothing. He let himself relax. Along this wooded path, there were no scrutinizing glares, no stones being thrown. Even at home, he had to stay guarded, but within the trees… Within the trees he could be free. Well, not as free as he would be soon, but as liberated as he could be then… The genin took a deep breath, several woody scents intermingling to create his most favorite aroma.

Most were unaware of this, but Naruto had heightened senses. Perhaps it was due to the Kyuubi, or perhaps it was something else… Either way, his senses were amazing. The blond's hearing was highly acute, able to hear a spider crawling on a blade of grass from over 50 meters away. He could fight even in the black of night, the rustling of enemies' clothing very detectible to the teen. His sense of smell was equally strong. He was able to pick up a single drop of blood, from enemies many meters away like it was a puddle smeared across his nose. That's one reason he loved plants so much; Earthy smells were comforting and secure, and plants provided abundance. Not only that, but the fainter-scented flowers just made it even more pleasant. Finally, he had his sense of touch. His skin on his fingertips was so sensitive that he could read words written in ink with a single swipe of a finger. Of course, pain was drastically intensified, but he just dealt with it in public. That didn't mean he didn't feel it; oh, he felt every single jolt. His pain tolerance was no higher than the average person's either, but he was just _that good_ at acting. '_Maybe I should invest in becoming a movie star…'_ the boy thought, amused. Oh, Naruto also had tremendously accurate instincts. On missions, the boy knew they were being trailed hours before his 'wonderful' Sensei. This was why he hated his persona so much. The mask was loud, smelly, and extremely clumsy, not to mention he often did reckless things – such as stabbing himself in the hand on their wave mission, something he still regretted to this very day. There were other ways to get the poison out… Mr. Happy was dimwitted and totally oblivious to his surroundings, and he also had poor hygiene. In other words, Public Naruto was the polar opposite of Inner Naruto.

Naruto let his mind run blank, silently taking in the piney smells of the surrounding evergreens. The breeze wasn't so numbing anymore, and in turn, the aching throughout his being was steadfastly returning. He winced with every breath he took, his stomach throbbing. His head felt like it was exploding from the two blows it had received only about 10 minutes before. Every step sent a jolt up his spine. It was _agony_, and this wasn't even close to the worst beating he'd gotten. His breathing quickened, the labored breaths coming out in spasms. It hurt. Yes, he had an extremely sensitive body, but this wasn't only that. See, Naruto and Kyuubi had struck a deal a long time ago. When Naruto was in a jam, aka getting beaten up, Kyuubi would dull the pain during and after the attack so the boy could get away. However, once the blond was out of harm's way, the fox would return the pain two-fold. Mixed in with the blond's hyper-sensitive nerves and you had this.

Knowing what was coming next, Naruto hastily found a tree and sat down by it, back propped against the trunk. He tensed his muscles and squeezed his eyes shut as the 'Wave' crashed. Kyuubi didn't just return the pain two fold, either. Drawing it out like that drained too much of the fox's energy, not that he needed the energy anyway. So instead, the demon just poured it all into one 30 second wave, must to the blond's distress. Speaking of the blond… Naruto gripped something on the ground, which happened to be a very hard, very thick tree limb. The Wave began to wash over him, starting at the top of his head and slowly traveling down his entire body until he felt as though he was entirely submerged in fire. His grip on the limb tightened, and the wood began to splinter. The boy bit his lip, concealing a large groan. The limb snapped in two, a few splinters sinking shallowly into his hand. He didn't even notice. However, as soon as it started, the Wave had left him, leaving the boy panting on the forest floor. However, there was a pressing issue at the back of his mind and he needed to say it right then. He reluctantly re-established the connection with Kyuubi, thoughts pouring out to the fox. _'Kyuubi… I need you to not dull anything tonight. I know what's coming and I know I won't be able to take twice what I'm gunna be getting. Okay?'_ the genin thought, trying to regain his composure. **_'Yeah kit, that's okay. I know how bad your birthday gets…'_**the fox said back. Sometimes the Nine-Tails was actually kind to his Jinchuuriki, almost caring. The genin liked his bijuu then.

Still shaking, Naruto peeled himself off of the ground. It still hurt - Kami, it still hurt - but he couldn't exactly sit around until he felt okay. He began walking again, a jolt running up his spine with every footfall. It wasn't as bad as it had been a mere minute before, though. Oh God, he still had his spar with Sasuke. Honestly, he was sick and tired of letting the kid win. It not only made him look weak, but it fueled the Uchiha's prideful God complex thing he had going on. It was annoying, honestly. Kusuri wasn't even a shinobi – he had retired as a Jounin a few years back – and the raven's punches were _still_ pathetic compared to the drunk's. Yeah, they hurt, but not like those of his assaulters. Still though, the blond still loved the little duck butt, even if said fowl hated him. But… today, the genin felt like the spar was going to be worse than usual - But how, he didn't know…

Naruto, still dazed, sped up his pace a bit. Every once in a while he tripped on a stone or an unearthed tree root, but the rest of the trip was mostly uneventful. The 'fox dude' wasn't talking either, probably asleep again, so the teen didn't bother severing their connection. He swore he could hear a distance, booming snore, half growling, coming from deep within his consciousness. He almost snickered. _'Who knew Kyuubi's a snorer?'_ he thought, amused. He was given a sleep-drunken growl in response. Right, the beast could hear all his thoughts once a connection was made… **_'Yup, sure can. Now shut up and break the connection; I'm trying to sleep you dang brat.'_** The pained boy only snickered and cut the 'line'. Why did the fox sleep so much anyway? It's not like he could use that energy.

It was odd, really, that his moods fluctuated so constantly. Naruto had gone from hurt, to amused, to smug in less than three minutes. This never went unnoticed by the sealed-for-life duo, though the joking about it died years ago. Back then, the happenings were actually amusing to both the fox and his container, but they also had not been quite so often, sudden, or complete. Now, though, they were both worried. It appeared to be a severe case of Bipolar Disorder, in truth. However, like everything else, he didn't have time to deal with it. So, the boy hid his moods and put forth an air of constant happy-go-lucky nonchalance. Sometimes, though, he slipped up. One example was when his team took one the Wave Mission, when that little black haired kid told him to give up.

Geez, that mission was awful, and not just because they ran into so much trouble. He'd almost lost Sasuke… That brat – I-something, right? – had been so annoying. Naruto already knew that the life of a shinobi led to misery and death. He already knew he'd never amount to anything. He already knew that he'd _die_. He knew. The genin had heard that line so many times he could have screamed, and it was just pathetic when a little kid could see it too. He had snapped that day, almost spilling something that he could never have taken back, but had caught himself in time. He had 'overheard' Kakashi speaking with What's-His-Face – really, he had forgotten the boy's name… - and had noted the man knew a little too much for comfort. Yes, his tears _had_ dried up long ago; the Jounin was right on that account. However, he _didn't_ seem to notice the suffocating depression that had swallowed the genin whole. Naruto had even hinted at it a few times throughout the years… Were they all that oblivious? Or did they just not care enough? It didn't matter anyway. What did matter was that no one had found out yet, which he supposed was better. The boy hoped to Kami that Kakashi had not discovered anything about his current home life. He shook his head again. The teen really needed to focus on happy thoughts if he wanted to keep his mask on today, because today, it was always so much harder to keep his head up high.

Okay… Happy thoughts! Happy, happy, happy… '_Happy, happy birthday to meee – Not.'_ Wait that was a bad thought. He needed happy thoughts. Knowing he was nearing the field, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Time was running out, and he was running out of time. '_Think, think, think… Aren't there any happy thoughts floating around my head?! No? Nothing new…'_ He thought. Naruto's mindscape really was a very depressing place, contrary to popular belief. Then, suddenly, he had what was probably the happiest thought of his entire morning. _'Well, I could always do a Pros and Cons list. That's at least partially good, right?'_ he wondered silently. Pro: It was his birthday! Con: It was his birthday… Pro: Sakura would be quieter! Con: She might be crying. Pro: Sasuke will be more talkative! Con: He'll also hit harder… a lot harder. Pro: He might get beaten too badly and sent home! Con: He was hoping again; Hope was a bad thing to the genin. Well, so much for happy thoughts. The Cons totally outweighed the Pros… He'd just have to try even harder.

Naruto let out a sigh as his foot hit soft grass, though whether it was of relief or reluctance, he was unsure. He was finally at his destination – Training Field Three. This was the place he had learned to work with people, even if just a little, instead of doing everything alone. He had become a genin here, a true ninja. Now, he trained there every day. Kakashi had mentioned something about 'strengthening their bonds at the place they were formed' or something, but the genin had really paid his sensei no mind. They used to use their little red bridge as a meeting place, but that had changed after the mission involving Itachi and Sasuke being in the hospital with mental damage for a while. _'Pssh, if they think that Uchiha is messed up, I ought to let them have a gander at _my_ darker thoughts…'_ he thought. Yes, his thoughts did get darker than this – oh, so much darker. Sure, Sasuke was the one that _acted_ all angsty, cold, and 'pity me, my entire family was killed by my brother! Oh no!' all the time, but the blond here was the one who really needed help.

Naruto let his thoughts re-group for a moment, heading toward the middle of the three posts in the center of the field. He heard no breathing, no heartbeats, and no footsteps. He couldn't recall Sasuke or Kakashi ever using such techniques in heading to a daily meeting, and he knew for sure that Sakura didn't even know how. So, there was only one conclusion. "No one's here but me… I have a little while," the boy thought aloud. He sat down, back against the pole, and closed his eyes. However, he was still very much alert. He used this hour or so of aloneness to settle down and get his act together. The time was perfect – not too much time, and not too little. It allowed enough time to think and slip into Mr. Happy, yet not enough to dwell or contemplate just abandoning his persona. Most assumed he was just sleeping when he lied against the log, but that was far from the truth. He was always awake and alert, knowing his teammates were nearing minutes before they entered the clearing. He supposed, though, that telling them he was merely catching up on sleep only furthered their belief, though. Just another lie on the ever-growing pile, huh? As if his web was not large enough… Soon, he thought, they would all be trapped; no more spying little flies. Though… after the boy had been weaving for so many years, it would only be normal that his cloak would be noticed, right? Very

The Third had known everything – absolutely _everything_. Well, he had in the beginning, anyway. At first, young Naruto would come to the tower bawling after a woman would throw a stone, breaking his nose. Perhaps he'd been beaten, or maybe just simply ridiculed. No matter what the situation, the little boy went to his Grandfather figure, confiding to him the horrors of the village and receiving the affection he so desperately yearned for. When he was five, he had no mask. He hung his head low and let the tears fall, telling the old man everything. In turn, the Third had all assaulters dealt with strictly, trying to squash the problems of bias in the city. Alas, instead of helping the issue, the tension only grew within the walls of Konoha. They blamed the constant jailing on the boy, hurting him more and more, yet never realizing it was really they who were in the wrong. They wouldn't have cared though, for the child, through their eyes, was a demon. Instead of letting up, they just grew more secretive. At the same time, the blond grew quieter and more tightlipped. His tormenters had promised his death should he continue to report to Sarutobi, and so he kept quiet.

This had thrown the old man for a loop, his clues rapidly disappearing every day. He had been so close, so very close, to solving one of the greatest crimes committed against the boy, an event that had left the youth permanently scarred, when the information had stopped. On the brink of discovery, he was left in the dark. For months, years even, he had begged and begged Naruto for more answers, but he always came up with nothing. Even the great Professor, master of ninjutsu and ruler of Konoha, could not figure this out. All his suspects proved to be innocent in his conviction, and though he saw through their lies, he could not call their bluff. Alas, there had been no evidence. Still, though, the elder tried. He worked valiantly until the day he died in Orochimaru's attack on Konoha. Strangely, though, all his files on the mystery were destroyed, leaving Naruto (and a very few trusted ANBU or Jounin) as the only one to remember the traumatic event. For a while afterwards, the violence towards the boy reached its peak, and it was then that one of the most horrific moments of his entire life occurred. He was forced to take a week off from his shinobi duties, knowing he was unable to perform properly. Still, he returned, hiding the pain behind his smiles. It… The violence never really got any better from that point, but it never really got any worse, either. Sure, it lessened enough to allow normal daily functions, but it stayed high, so terribly high. Every day, a new scar was formed.

Oh, joy. Naruto's eyes held that familiar stinging sensation once again. He wiped a hand over them furiously, not letting a single tear fall. He knew they wouldn't, anyway, but he would rather be safe than sorry. He lifted himself off of the ground and perched at the top of the post, the wind blowing softly into his face and prompting him to close his eyes. So much for his mask… Well, thinking about his past – especially the two horrible happenings in his life – had a way of making him a bit depressed. The blond took a few deep breaths, steadying both his body and his mentality. It seemed he was just in time, too, as the sound of approaching footsteps was brought to his ears. They were from… behind him, and they were closer than he thought they would be.' _I must have really spaced out, and for a while, too…'_ he thought. It was then, though, that he realized something was wrong.

Those footsteps were far too heavy to be of any of his teammates.

* * *

Did I just… hit… 7,678 words of actual story… in one chapter…? And… I split it in two halves, because it would have been too long… What. HOW. Did I really just… Omg I'm sooo flipping! *does a suckish happy dance* Wooooow. I'm going to try and post the next chapter soon, and I think it might end up being a bit longer than this. Gunna take just a liiiittle break though, but not long, okay? Just a little breather. I'll probably start my next fic so I don't get bored with this.

Did ya catch the hints? Huh? Huh? No? Kay, good. O-O


	3. Please Read!

**THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE, BUT PLEASE READ ANYWAY.**

**This is an urgent matter. Currently, there is a poll on my page which will help me decide which type of story I will write next. As I am suffering from another Writers Block on Rifts, I need to work on another story. If I don't work on another story, it's going to greatly extend the time before another update. The thing is, I can't decide which one to write first, so I can't work on it. That being said, I can't get over my Writer's Block. Please go vote on the poll so I can get off my lazy butt and write more. Thanks! I'll delete this AN once I finish chapter two, mkay? Mkay.**

**Also, Haooy New Year's Eve, guys! Fireworks! Ah, the last day of 2013... The year went by soo-oo fast. I'm staying up til midnight tonight! Who else? HAPPY HOLIDAYS NOW BYE.**

**Oh, I'ma put this here instead of in the AN of Chap 2:**

**Yes, I am well aware of what teme *technically* means (though I might be wrong), and I am also well aware of the fact that I said I'd not be using swear words. This is the only exception. Why? Well, one, it's in Japanese. A lot of people don't know. Secondly, it's Naruto and Sasuke's thing. Naruto is called a dobe by Sasuke, and Sasuke is called a teme by Naruto. Those two without their pet na-I mean… _manly man insult_ names is like ramen with no noodles- It just doesn't WORK.**

**I edited the last chapter a bit. Thought I should add that at the beginning. I fixed the present-to-past tense thing, and added a bit into a paragraph that I forgot. I'll just quote the section I fixed:**

_Naruto gripped something on the ground, which happened to be a very hard, very thick tree limb. The Wave began to wash over him, starting at the top of his head and slowly traveling down his entire body until he felt as though he was entirely submerged in fire. His grip on the limb tightened, and the wood began to splinter. The boy bit his lip, concealing a large groan. The limb snapped in two, a few splinters sinking shallowly into his hand. He didn't even notice. However, as soon as it started, the Wave had left him, leaving the boy panting on the forest floor._

**Yeah, I forgot to add in that the tree limb snapped 'n stuff. Sorrryyyy.**

**Thanks for listening!**


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